Divorcing a narcissist is unique from most every divorce due to the personality disorder and the havoc this type wreaks on the people separating themselves from the toxicity. Engaging a coach will keep you, the “normal” (non-narcissistic) individual, steady and productively proactive as opposed to reactive and off-balance, triggered by each motion, filing and attack waged by the narcissist.
This kind of divorce, more than any other, is emotionally and psychologically wearing. Few are emotionally equipped to survive. The toll this type of fractious and sustained divorce takes on the client is extensive. The more prepared you are psychologically and the healthier you are emotionally, the better you and your children will fare and the less likely you are to fall into a relationship with yet another toxic individual in the future.
Working through the minefield of self doubt, confusion and abuse from the relationship as well as other “unfinished business” in your background will allow proceedings to move forward at a potentially easier pace. Learning to set ironclad, strategic boundaries, dealing with anger, learning to minimize contact, regulating emotion and looking at the big picture will free you up to choose your battles wisely. Where the narcissist is likely to continue to play the victim, malign you in paperwork, the court and the community and indulge in scorched – earth policy destroying everything in his path; YOU will be able to see the narcissist’s lies and maneuvers for what they are without being triggered.